RWBY With A Southern Accent
by Dont Wait Up - Gone Fishing
Summary: RWBY was made by Monty Oum (rest in peace) in Austin, TX. You know what else Texas has, y'all...?
1. RWBY In A Southern Accent

_Fade-in to the image of Beacon Academy._

 **Narrator** : _Legends. Stories hear-telled through time. People folk've grown real fond of tellin' the larking of heroes 'n villains, forgettin' so easily that we're the leftovers of a forgotten past._

 _The gems in the image glow green and fade to show simple pictures of a man rising from the earth before being surrounded by creatures, barely held back by warriors._

 **Narrator** : _People folk, born from dust, had a horse sense, but they was born into a world 'at thinks it shit don't sink. An inkin' darkness — varmints of breakin' things — the varmints of Grimm - set they sights on people folk and all of they prop-err-tee. Them forces done clashed, and it was lookin' the darkness had a hankerin' to return people folk's brief existence to the void._

 _Black sets in, then suddenly lessens as a light grows brighter and brighter until a gem rises from it and lowers itself into the hands of man._

 **Narrator** : _An-y-ways, even a piddlin' spark of hope is enough to light up change, and in time, people folk's passion 'n horse sense led 'em to the tools that would put 'em on even soil. This power was right named "Dust."_

 _The scene zooms out to show men shooting lightning, raising swords, and aiming rifles at the retreating beasts as a castle appears behind them._

 **Narrator** : _Nature's temper tantrums in hand, people folk done lit the way out the darkness, an' where there weren't none shadows was strength, civilization, and most importantly, life._

 _The castle zooms out to show a map of Remnant, which houses other buildings until they disappear in flashes of white and the map is lowered to show the scattering moon over a city at night_

 **Narrator** : _But even the most uppity lights eventually flicker and tump over. And when they're gone... darkness'll come trottin' right back._

 _Roman Torchwick and four of his henchmen head down an alley from the shadows. They stop behind Roman, who reignites his cigar without touching it and grins before walking down the road, frightening nearby citizens as they make their way towards the shop From Dust Till Dawn._

 **Narrator** : _So y'all may fix yer guardians, build yer monuments to a so-called "free world," but hear tell... ya don't get no cattle pushin' over yer neighbor's bull._

 _Roman and his henchmen enter the shop, the camera lowering to a young girl wearing a red cloak in the corner of the shop, reading a weapons magazine._

 **Ozpin (voice over)** : _But maybe gettin' cattle is in the l'il things ya cain't 'member. Things that need a l'il true-ta-Jesus soul._

 _The henchmen look around and at the Dust crystals in the display when Roman approaches the elderly shopkeeper._

 **Roman** : ( _flicking his cigar_ ) Ya got any clue how tough it is to find a Dust shop 'at lays out this late?

 _One of the henchman points his gun at the shopkeeper._

 **Shopkeeper** : ( _raising his hands_ ) P-please! Just russle ma dough and skedaddle!

 **Roman** : Shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, don't get yer britches in a knot, we ain't here for yer dough. ( _to the henchmen_ ) Russle up the Dust.

 _A henchman opens a case and removes one of several cylinders, which the group uses to take Dust from the tube containers on the walls._

 **Henchman 1** : ( _placing another open case on the display to the shopkeeper_ ) Crystals. Hot as a steer's ass in June. Uncut.

 _The shopkeeper proceeds to fill the case. As another henchman goes for another tube, he hears the muted_ This Will Be the Day _song from the girl's direction, and unsheathes his sword._

 **Henchman 2** : ( _pointing his sword at her back_ ) Aight younggun, put yer hands where I can see 'em. ( _no response_ ) Hey, I done told ya hands in the air! Ya wanna get yer hide tanned or some'n!?

 _He goes over to her and turns her around, dropping to hood to reveal a surprised Ruby Rose is wearing headphones. He motions for her to lower them._

 **Ruby** : ( _doing so_ ) Howdy?

 **Henchman 2** : I done said, put yer hands in the air, now!

 **Ruby** : Are ya... hustlin' me?

 **Henchman 2** : Darn tootin'!

 **Ruby** : Ooohhh...

 _Roman is waiting for his men to finish the heist when a "Hey!" and "Hyah!" are heard, and the threatening henchman flies past him. Roman calmly motions for another to handle Ruby._

 **Henchman 1** : ( _raising his gun at her_ ) Cut out!

 _Cut to outside the shop, when the henchman and Ruby crash through the window. The other men look outside as Ruby gets up and unfolds Crescent Rose into its scythe form. Roman scowls, but Ruby smiles back at them before twirling the weapon around, striking it into the ground and turning off her headphones._

 **Roman** : Gotcha... ( _to his remaining henchmen_ ) Get her!

 _The henchmen head out of the shop and run at Ruby, who spins around her scythe and kicks the first approaching criminal in the face. She gets Crescent Rose out of the ground and fires it off to hit another one with the butt of her weapon, sending him flying. She fires again and brings the side down on one attacker and dodges the next's gunfire with her rifle's speed, getting close enough to knock him into the air and follow him upwards so she can beat him away to Roman's feet._

 **Roman** : You really were the bang fer my buck. For real, ya were. ( _to Ruby, dropping his cigar and crushing it with his cane as approaching police sirens are heard_ ) Say, Red, I think we can all say this been a right good night, and as much as I'd love to stick around... ( _raises his cane and opens the bottom to reveal a rifle with a cross grid_ ) ...I'm sad ta say this is where we go 'bye.

 **Ruby** : ( _to the onlooking shopkeeper_ ) You all hunkey dorey if I run after 'im?

 _The shopkeeper gives a short "Uh huh," and Ruby sets off._

 _Roman makes it to the roof, with Ruby high-flying again and landing right behind him._

 **Ruby** : How-do!

 **Roman** : ( _stopping at the edge_ ) Keep huntin' l'il...

 _Ruby readies to fight him, but a getaway Bullhead rises up and opens the hatch to allow Roman inside._

 **Roman** : ( _turning around and holding up a red Dust gem_ ) This here gon' stop now, Red.

 _He throws it out at her feet and fires at her, resulting in a large explosion._

 **Roman** : Ya-ha-ha-ha! ( _stops laughing when he sees something on the roof_ ) Huh?

 _A woman in a purple cape is now in front of Ruby, casting a circle of protection over them with her wand. As Ruby looks on, Glynda Goodwitch waves her weapon and summons several streaks of purple at the craft. Roman is thrown around in the back until he goes to the cockpit, where a woman in red, her face unseen, is struggling with the controls._

 **Roman** : This-here a Huntress!

 _The woman gets up and heads toward the back as Roman takes the controls._

 _Glynda glows purple for a moment and aims another blast above the craft, resulting in a dark storm-cloud right over the jet._

 **Roman** : What in tarnation...?

 _With a flick of her wand, large jagged hail starts falling that pummels the jet and even breaks through the window, narrowly missing Roman's head._

 _The woman reaches the back and her arms and chest light up like fire, aiming a burst of energy at Glynda. The Huntress blocks it, but the flame splatters behind her and glows hot with the enemy's raised hand. Glynda back-flips out of the explosion, which destroys part of the roof, and magically gathers the shards to create a large arrow, which she throws at the craft. The fiery woman shatters the arrow with several blasts, but it reforms just in time to hit the side of the jet due to Roman's quick aerial lean. The wreckage separates and reshapes into more arrows that encircle the jet, but the woman summons several glowing rings around herself that expand and destroy the shards._

 _Ruby, finally acting, reverts her scythe into its rifle form to fire at the woman, who blocks each shot and creates several blazing circles around her two opponents. Glynda telekinetically pushes Ruby and rolls herself out of the explosion's radius; looking up to see the hatch close and the craft fly away._

 **Ruby** : ( _looking at Glynda_ ) You a Huntress! ( _putting on a pleading, awe-stricken face_ ) Can I have yer signin'?!

 ***END***

 **(…of the translated part. Even people like me, who are fluent in Southernese, find translating stuff into slang to be a tad taxing.)**

 **(PS – RWBY was made by Rooster Teeth, which is in Austin, which is a short drive from my home in Houston. See? Both Texan. We don't all talk with "ain't"s thrown around all cattywampus. I just want it to be clear that, even though Southern slang is a thing, it isn't used as commonly as in the transcript above except for by some limited populations in the South.)**


	2. RWBY In A Kinda Just American Accent

_Fade-in to the image of Beacon Academy._

 **Narrator** : _Legends. Stories scattered through time. Mankind has grown quite fond of recounting the exploits of heroes and villains, forgetting so easily that we are remnants, byproducts, of a forgotten past._

 _The gems in the image glow green and fade to show simple pictures of a man rising from the earth before being surrounded by creatures, barely held back by warriors._

 **Narrator** : _Man, born from dust, was strong, wise, and resourceful, but he was born into an unforgiving world. An inevitable darkness — creatures of destruction — the creatures of Grimm - set their sights on man and all of his creations. These forces clashed, and it seemed the darkness was intent on returning man's brief existence to the void._

 _Black sets in, then suddenly lessens as a light grows brighter and brighter until a gem rises from it and lowers itself into the hands of man._

 **Narrator** : _However, even the smallest spark of hope is enough to ignite change, and in time, man's passion, resourcefulness, and ingenuity led them to the tools that would help even the odds. This power was appropriately named "Dust."_

 _The scene zooms out to show men shooting lightning, raising swords, and aiming rifles at the retreating beasts as a castle appears behind them._

 **Narrator** : _Nature's wrath in hand, man lit their way through the darkness, and in the shadow's absence came strength, civilization, and most importantly, life._

 _The castle zooms out to show a map of Remnant, which houses other buildings until they disappear in flashes of white and the map is lowered to show the scattering moon over a city at night._

 **Narrator** : _But even the most brilliant lights eventually flicker and die. And when they are gone... darkness will return._

 _Roman Torchwick and four of his henchmen head down an alley from the shadows. They stop behind Roman, who reignites his cigar without touching it and grins before walking down the road, frightening nearby citizens as they make their way towards the shop From Dust Till Dawn._

 **Narrator** : _So you may prepare your guardians, build your monuments to a so-called "free world," but take heed... there will be no victory in strength._

 _Roman and his henchmen enter the shop, the camera lowering to a young girl wearing a red cloak in the corner of the shop, reading a weapons magazine._

 **Ozpin (voice over)** : _But perhaps victory is in the simpler things that you've long forgotten. Things that require a smaller, more honest soul._

 _The henchmen look around and at the Dust crystals in the display when Roman approaches the elderly shopkeeper._

 **Roman** : ( _flicking his cigar_ ) Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a Dust shop open this late?

 _One of the henchman points his gun at the shopkeeper._

 **Shopkeeper** : ( _raising his hands_ ) P-please! Just take my Lien and leave!

 **Roman** : Shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, calm down, we're not here for your money. ( _to the henchmen_ ) Grab the Dust.

 _A henchman opens a case and removes one of several cylinders, which the group uses to take Dust from the tube containers on the walls._

 **Henchman 1** : ( _placing another open case on the display to the shopkeeper_ ) Crystals. Burn. Uncut.

 _The shopkeeper proceeds to fill the case. As another henchman goes for another tube, he hears the muted_ This Will Be the Day _song from the girl's direction, and unsheathes his sword._

 **Henchman 2** : ( _pointing his sword at her back_ ) Alright kid, put your hands where I can see 'em. ( _no response_ ) Hey, I said hands in the air! You got a death wish or something!?

 _He goes over to her and turns her around, dropping to hood to reveal a surprised Ruby Rose is wearing headphones. He motions for her to lower them._

 **Ruby** : ( _doing so_ ) Yes?

 **Henchman 2** : I said, put your hands in the air, now!

 **Ruby** : Are you... robbing me?

 **Henchman 2** : Yes!

 **Ruby** : Ooohhh...

 _Roman is waiting for his men to finish the heist when a "Hey!" and "Hyah!" are heard, and the threatening henchman flies past him. Roman calmly motions for another to handle Ruby._

 **Henchman 1** : ( _raising his gun at her_ ) Freeze!

 _Cut to outside the shop, when the henchman and Ruby crash through the window. The other men look outside as Ruby gets up and unfolds Crescent Rose into its scythe form. Roman scowls, but Ruby smiles back at them before twirling the weapon around, striking it into the ground and turning off her headphones._

 **Roman** : Okayyy... ( _to his remaining henchmen_ ) Get her!

 _The henchmen head out of the shop and run at Ruby, who spins around her scythe and kicks the first approaching criminal in the face. She gets Crescent Rose out of the ground and fires it off to hit another one with the butt of her weapon, sending him flying. She fires again and brings the side down on one attacker and dodges the next's gunfire with her rifle's speed, getting close enough to knock him into the air and follow him upwards so she can beat him away to Roman's feet._

 **Roman** : You were worth every cent. Truly, you were. ( _to Ruby, dropping his cigar and crushing it with his cane as approaching police sirens are heard_ ) Well, Red, I think we can all say it's been an eventful evening, and as much as I'd love to stick around... ( _raises his cane and opens the bottom to reveal a rifle with a cross grid_ ) ...I'm afraid this is where we part ways.

 _Roman unleashes a red blast at Ruby, who fires at the ground and leaps over it. When she lands and looks up, Roman isn't there, and is climbing up a ladder on a nearby building._

 **Ruby** : ( _to the onlooking shopkeeper_ ) You okay if I go after him?

 _The shopkeeper gives a short "Uh huh," and Ruby sets off._

 _Roman makes it to the roof, with Ruby high-flying again and landing right behind him._

 **Ruby** : Hey!

 **Roman** : ( _stopping at the edge_ ) Persistent...

 _Ruby readies to fight him, but a getaway Bullhead rises up and opens the hatch to allow Roman inside._

 **Roman** : ( _turning around and holding up a red Dust gem_ ) End of the line, Red.

 _He throws it out at her feet and fires at her, resulting in a large explosion._

 **Roman** : Whoa-ho-ho-ho! ( _stops laughing when he sees something on the roof_ ) Huh?

 _A woman in a purple cape is now in front of Ruby, casting a circle of protection over them with her wand. As Ruby looks on, Glynda Goodwitch waves her weapon and summons several streaks of purple at the craft. Roman is thrown around in the back until he goes to the cockpit, where a woman in red, her face unseen, is struggling with the controls._

 **Roman** : We got a Huntress!

 _The woman gets up and heads toward the back as Roman takes the controls._

 _Glynda glows purple for a moment and aims another blast above the craft, resulting in a dark storm-cloud right over the jet._

 **Roman** : The hell...?

 _With a flick of her wand, large jagged hail starts falling that pummels the jet and even breaks through the window, narrowly missing Roman's head._

 _The woman reaches the back and her arms and chest light up like fire, aiming a burst of energy at Glynda. The Huntress blocks it, but the flame splatters behind her and glows hot with the enemy's raised hand. Glynda back-flips out of the explosion, which destroys part of the roof, and magically gathers the shards to create a large arrow, which she throws at the craft. The fiery woman shatters the arrow with several blasts, but it reforms just in time to hit the side of the jet due to Roman's quick aerial lean. The wreckage separates and reshapes into more arrows that encircle the jet, but the woman summons several glowing rings around herself that expand and destroy the shards._

 _Ruby, finally acting, reverts her scythe into its rifle form to fire at the woman, who blocks each shot and creates several blazing circles around her two opponents. Glynda telekinetically pushes Ruby and rolls herself out of the explosion's radius; looking up to see the hatch close and the craft fly away._

 **Ruby** : ( _looking at Glynda_ ) You're a Huntress! ( _putting on a pleading, awe-stricken face_ ) Can I have your autograph?!


End file.
